I took some LSD and had the trip of a lifetime. I cannot scientifically explain the events that took place this night and have documented them after finding details of what I saw in an ancient occult text. I have not used drugs in the past 2 years because I no longer feel the need to do so. I must say that if you are going to do LSD or MDMA or any drug other than cannabis that you buy and use a test-kit because you never know for sure what you are getting. It could save your life or yourself from a very bad experience. An additional 15-20$ is worth it trust me. Though I do not condone drug use per se, I respect the individual liberty of those who care to do so and I do not believe it should be infringed upon.
This is an account of the experience I had that I cannot scientifically explain while on 1 tab of some very potent LSD. This experience led me to abandon my atheism only after doing research on one of the spirits name and coming to learn that it was real and in an ancient occult book which I found descriptions, names, appearances and functions of the other beings (spirits, or demons) that I encountered.
~2 AM or so
Played “I put a spell on you”
The song that began the visions
Note that this was several years ago and I have written only what I remember well. I am attempting to describe the indescribable. The state of mind I was in cannot be put into words, but alas I will do my best. This kind of consciousness is truly of another world.
I sense a being during or after the song, not a spirit per se but some sort of entity capable of going through the earth and snatching people up in some weird metaphysical way. To the beat of the song part of me calls out to the universe in a strange way. There I have visions of a strange being approaching. With hair on the bottom of its feet. It is a grotesque, large thing with a stick of some kind (staff or scepter?). The being was what can best be described as a humanoid monster. I sensed it was the thing that could snatch beings up and take them to another world/ an afterlife of some sort but I sensed no danger from it. It was not a hostile vision. In fact all of my visions in this time were not hostile. They were strange and alien but not hostile.
Then after this I find myself laying on the couch and I look up to the mirror to see a somewhat transparent but not like any kind of physical substance I can describe, smoke like thing coming out of the mirror. I hear it speak to me in a distorted, hoarse, almost electronic voice, “I AM ASMODEUS”. Kind of like “ASZZZMOAHDEEYUS”. Then I have visions of this 6 animal legged lion headed being (later identified with Buer) dancing and with it I sense madness, the madness of the state I am in because of the LSD.
Then come the visions of what very well may be hell. Visions of fiery cavernous world. Blades of grass move to and fro with the wind. But instead of grass they are flames. To my right a yellow cave, a large rock and in it I sense there is Asmodeus (later found a myth of Asmodeus in Islamic folklore as ‘the demon in the rocks’). Beyond the grassy field in the distance there are shadowy figures of a towering castle. In the windows there is a red glow of fire and behind it is smoke or clouds glowing with some distant red/ yellow light. In front of (or behind, I don’t remember) is a path. There what can best be described as phantoms with no faces and large eyes (like shy guys almost) hover over the ground. I think I remember them carrying spears or swords of some sort.
Then I sense another demon whose terrible musicalal notes I hear. It is a psychedelic sound, it cannot be described with any words I know but alas I must try. It was like piano notes but instead of a normal piano sound it was like shattering glass and destruction. It wasn’t painful but it wasn’t pleasant. It was so alien to me. These beings were WEIRD, but strangely beautiful. In this entire time I did not think they were ‘spirits’ or ‘demons’ or anything other than a projection of my own mind. It wasn’t until after the trip that after misspelling “asmodeus” in google 10 times that I had a hit. This led me to the Ars Goetia (the lesser key of solomon) in which I found Asmodeus and the names of the other beings I saw during this trip. I had no prior knowledge of the occult. I never cared for it as an atheist and growing up I was too afraid to look at that kind of thing as I came from a religious family. I am 100% certain I would’ve remembered reading something so strange, especially an ancient occult text about summoning demons. I have since abandoned atheism.
For the Occult savvy:
First sense Ronove, then came Asmodeus out of the mirror and finally visions of Buer and other demons.
Later learning the names of all but Asmodeus who gave me his name immediately.
Demons seen that I most recognize listed in the Ars Goetia:
Asmodeus: Told name specifically, appeared as hazy smoke coming out of mirror. Like in another dimension almost.
Ronove: Vision of common form and sensed purpose was to take souls to hell. Hairy soles of feet, carried stick thing, monstrous
Buer: Danced around me in form same as Dictionnaire Infernal
Amdusias?: Played music in vision of fiery world (hell?)
Psychedelic drugs are powerful tools. Use them responsibly!
One thought on “The LSD Trip That Made Me Abandon Atheism”
It is assumed that psychedelics can give you access to the unconcious, hence it could have easily been the case that you accessed a suppressed / forgotten memory from childhood or even (as assumed by tibetian buddhists) memories from your nervous system / brain / biochemistry that were given to you by your ancestors. It is a mistery where the visions LSD can give come from and I also often had revelations that made me question old perspectives and thus change my mind. This is a good thing because it makes you open for new perspectives and can be very fulfilling. Be careful though to insist too strongly on the standpoint that what you experienced is the ultimate truth for the entire univers. It can be a truth for you just as much as atheism can be the truth for many people. I’d suggest to you to cherish the experience and add it to your pile of knowledge. Only let it significantly impact your life when you realize that it fulfills you and makes you happier. Else, just treat it as a mystical experience that is not necessarily the truth.
The mind is very powerful and can play crazy tricks on you! Don’t believe everything you experience during an LSD trip, but reflect on it and combine it with all the other experiences you have in your life. This way you can take the best with you no matter what kind of psychedelic experience you had. The truth is always a matter of perspective.